Blend in. Deliver Coleslaw. Become a drone.
You Are The DASH TEST DUMMY
This jacket is part of the HENCHMEN CAPSULE:
Order the entire capsule to get one patch free.
This is OFFICIAL HENCHWEAR™.
The Podawful™ Henchman Slawbomber Jacket is your ultimate undercover essential for navigating the Dark Future Nega-City streets of 2038. This zip-up bomber blends seamlessly into the gig economy's endless delivery swarm, letting you vanish among the chaotic army of thermal-bag-toting 2-star-rating fleet drivers while running surveillance on high-value targets. In this Mental Warfare Future modern hellscape, the only people you invite to your door are complete strangers. That’s you.
Crafted in hyper-realistic urban camouflage: The eye-searing acid yellow base screams "corporate hi-vis app-slave courier” while you loiter suspiciously long at drop zones. The aggressive black hazard stripes, and food delivery logos make you read as background noise to every Ring doorbell camera. The hi-tek, low-brow pattern disrupts facial-rec algorithms, making it impossible to add you to high-priority watchlists.
Tactical circular quadrant registration zones across the chest and shoulders await your Henchman Modal Valor Patches. Rack up those confirmed observations, pizza-box stakeouts, and "accidental" wrong-address entries. Embroidered badges are perfect for the operative who's always testing the limits of plausible deniability.
Built tough for Dystopia:
Elasti-Synth polymesh exterior: For the henchman on the go, with soft brushed fleece on the inside for those long, over-night observations.
Front-panel logo overload: Spoofed badges from the Megacorps (Goober Eats, DOORDOXX, Post$laves). Instant credibility as "one of them." This jacket is SPYWEAR.
Urban Moving Systems Pockets: zip up pockets for your burner phone, audio bugs, micro-drones, and extra packets of ketchup.
Tactical Valor Registration: Patch-ready placement zones for your criminal merit badges.
Cut, sewn, and assembled on-demand by Chinese and Mexican neo-slaves
Full zip front with high collar: an Electro-Injection® obedience collar ensures the mission will be completed. (Or else.)
Whether you're slinging coleslaw to a targeted individual's front door or circling the block on a "delayed" pizza run, the Podawful™ Henchman Slawbomber makes you invisible in plain sight. The perfect delivery driver camouflage for the operative who delivers more than just food.
Earn your ★★★★★ rating.
Assimilate by standing out. Collect intel. Deliver suspicion.
[TV HEAD SOLD SEPARATELY]
Blend in. Deliver Coleslaw. Become a drone.
You Are The DASH TEST DUMMY
This jacket is part of the HENCHMEN CAPSULE:
Order the entire capsule to get one patch free.
This is OFFICIAL HENCHWEAR™.
The Podawful™ Henchman Slawbomber Jacket is your ultimate undercover essential for navigating the Dark Future Nega-City streets of 2038. This zip-up bomber blends seamlessly into the gig economy's endless delivery swarm, letting you vanish among the chaotic army of thermal-bag-toting 2-star-rating fleet drivers while running surveillance on high-value targets. In this Mental Warfare Future modern hellscape, the only people you invite to your door are complete strangers. That’s you.
Crafted in hyper-realistic urban camouflage: The eye-searing acid yellow base screams "corporate hi-vis app-slave courier” while you loiter suspiciously long at drop zones. The aggressive black hazard stripes, and food delivery logos make you read as background noise to every Ring doorbell camera. The hi-tek, low-brow pattern disrupts facial-rec algorithms, making it impossible to add you to high-priority watchlists.
Tactical circular quadrant registration zones across the chest and shoulders await your Henchman Modal Valor Patches. Rack up those confirmed observations, pizza-box stakeouts, and "accidental" wrong-address entries. Embroidered badges are perfect for the operative who's always testing the limits of plausible deniability.
Built tough for Dystopia:
Elasti-Synth polymesh exterior: For the henchman on the go, with soft brushed fleece on the inside for those long, over-night observations.
Front-panel logo overload: Spoofed badges from the Megacorps (Goober Eats, DOORDOXX, Post$laves). Instant credibility as "one of them." This jacket is SPYWEAR.
Urban Moving Systems Pockets: zip up pockets for your burner phone, audio bugs, micro-drones, and extra packets of ketchup.
Tactical Valor Registration: Patch-ready placement zones for your criminal merit badges.
Cut, sewn, and assembled on-demand by Chinese and Mexican neo-slaves
Full zip front with high collar: an Electro-Injection® obedience collar ensures the mission will be completed. (Or else.)
Whether you're slinging coleslaw to a targeted individual's front door or circling the block on a "delayed" pizza run, the Podawful™ Henchman Slawbomber makes you invisible in plain sight. The perfect delivery driver camouflage for the operative who delivers more than just food.
Earn your ★★★★★ rating.
Assimilate by standing out. Collect intel. Deliver suspicion.
[TV HEAD SOLD SEPARATELY]
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